


Make You Sing C Sharp

by jack merridontme (luckystrike)



Category: Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Genre: (well most of them), Aged up characters, Bad Pick Up Lines, Bad Puns, Innuendoes, M/M, Merridew puns to be exact ew, Modern AU, because of all that innuendo lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:29:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2850887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckystrike/pseuds/jack%20merridontme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drabble series featuring Jack and Ralph’s not-so-successful attempts at starting a mating ritual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make You Sing C Sharp

"Promise I’ll make you sing C sharp, Merridew," Ralph says with a cheeky grin, leaning in uncomfortably close to Jack.

A wave of heat floods Jack’s face as he shoves Ralph’s ( ~~handsome~~ ) infuriating face away. “Shut up.”

 

* * *

"Why don’t you appreciate my spear, Ralph?"

The boy with the fair hair sighs in equal parts exasperation and amusement. “Yes, yes, it’s very lovely, Jack. Your craftsmanship cannot be rivalled by another—”

"The spear is my dick."

"…Really, Jack? _Really?_ "

* * *

The redhead hefts the towel over his bare shoulder and grins at him. “Join me while I bathe?”

Blushing, Ralph runs his hand through his hair in exasperation. He can’t believe he was stupid enough to let Jack Merridew — a _drunk_ Jack Merridew no less, into his house at the ungodly hour of two in the morning. “Sod off, Merridew; you’re drunk as a skunk.”

* * *

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" Jack asks the boy with the shell. The fair-haired Adonis tilts his head in confusion. "Because if you don’t, I can walk by again."

* * *

 

"Since when were you so good with horses?" Jack says teasingly as Ralph passes by, perched on a white stallion.

"My dad’s been teaching me since I was eleven, but I guess I was always a natural at riding horses." The blond turns his head to flash him a grin. "But I’d much rather ride you."

* * *

 

"Hey, Jack," Ralph says, smiling toothily, "you’re the only one I’d Merri _dew_.”

"And I’m Merridone with your shit, Ralph." Jack bristles, a fierce blush on his cheeks.

* * *

"You know, love," says Jack, "you can blow my ‘conch’ anytime you want."

"You know, I might take you up on that."

"Why don’t you take me right now?" He winks saucily, only to be hit in the face by a pillow Ralph unceremoniously threw.

* * *

"Jack, can you get your feet off the coffee table so I can vacuum properly?" When he doesn’t reply, Ralph tries slapping his legs. "Jack, off!"

"That’s what I was trying to do," says Jack drily, uncrossing his legs.

* * *

Jack groans as his obnoxious ringtone (the one Maurice, cheeky devil that he is, set to play, ‘What Does the Fox Say?’) jars him into the waking world. He kicks off his comforter, grumbles unintelligibly for a few moments before finally answering his phone. “Who the hell is this?”

"Hello, Merridew," a pleasant, lilting voice greets.

Jack narrows his eyes. “What do you want, Ralph?”

"I’d want to have more of Merri-you."

Jack groans, fighting the urge to slam his phone down and go back to sleep. “Fuck you.”

"Wouldn’t you want to?" is Ralph’s cheery reply.

* * *

**[ bonus ]**

"Do you, Ralph of no determinate surname, take this man for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?"

Ralph grins, wider than you have ever seen, and looks straight into your eyes. “I merri _do_.”

You nearly choke on your own spit, and you can see the pastor’s lips twitching. Regardless, he still says, “You may now kiss the groom.” as if he was used to cheeky blond little shits making horrible puns during wedding ceremonies.

Like the obedient servant of the Lord that you are, you wholeheartedly oblige to his request. (As if you could ever refuse a snog with Ralph.) After the Long-Ass Holy Matrimonial Snog(tm), you press your forehead to his, whispering, “How long have you waited to say that?”

"Since gay marriage was legalized," he chirps and smiles at your prompt laughter.

 

 

 


End file.
